I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
