he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
