ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
