I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
