Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
