can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
