just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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