hell yes lets make some ravioli
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
