Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
