one two three fourrrrnication!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
