yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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