Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
