WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Your cock deserves a montage
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize