I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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