her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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