69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
