I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
