i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Did I show you my penis last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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