I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my shit smells like andre
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
