i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
