I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sorry about my life...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
