Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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