My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
