So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
