my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
zippers are such a cool invention
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
