dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
