I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
