I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
