i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Pants are for mortals
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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