i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
