He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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