yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
