i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
