so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
