Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
