She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
