You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
