CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
