ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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