She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
