considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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