chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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