I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He passed out mid-signature
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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