I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize