recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
