he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My life is pants optional.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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