New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
