Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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