Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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