woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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