I have demons in me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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