It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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