Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
