yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
