just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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