they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
