I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
