is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
