I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
