it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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