Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
